One Last Christmas
by Today-Only-Happens-Once
Summary: "He's saying goodbye. I wasn't ready for it. I still needed him." Song fic for Matthew West's "One Last Christmas". Don't have to know the song to get the story. NOT SLASH! WARNING: major tear jerker. Rated T just to be safe. ONESHOT.


Hi readers! Please review!

WARNING: Tear jerker. Tissues reccomended

ALSO: I recomend listening to the song as you read this, but you don't have to. In fact, you don't even have to have heard the song to get this story. 

Please review!

Merry Christmas!

_**It's the news that no one hopes for**_

We walked into the doctor's office. Ponyboy had been having some trouble breathing and had been coughing up blood, so we took him in. His breath was still shallow, and thought he would deny it, the look on his face told me his chest was hurting him something fierce. I was real worried about him, but he kept telling me he was fine. But Ponyboy could be hit by a truck and say that he was okay, so I didn't believe him. Sodapop told me that he'd been having trouble sleeping, and he kept waking up coughing. When he started coughing up blood, I drew the line and dragged Ponyboy into the hospital. He got some screening and other tests run a few hours ago. We sat down by the doc's desk, Ponyboy between me and Sodapop.

The doctor came in, sitting behind his desk. He didn't even try to smile. That's never a good sign.

_**Every parent's greatest fear**_

"How are you feeling, Ponyboy?" he asked. The kid avoided eye contact, staring at his hands in his lap. He was always a pretty shy kid.

"My chest hurts a little. And I've been coughing a lot,"

"Any blood?"

"Yeah. A little."

The doctor nodded and looked at his clipboard. He ran a hand across his mouth.

"Boys, I'm afraid I have some bad news…" he began, looking extremely grave. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to hear bad news. I had heard enough bad news in my life. First with my parents. Then with Johnny. Then with Dally. Now with Ponyboy.

"It appears that Ponyboy here, has lung cancer."

_**Finding out the child you love so much may not make it through the year**_

Those five words made my world come crashing down.

Ponyboy, here, has lung cancer.

No.

Please.

No!

I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter.

NO!

I finally managed to look up. Even the doctor's eyes were misty. I looked at Sodapop, who was staring blankly at the doctor. Ponyboy still had his eyes squeezed shut. I put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me. His eyes grew wide. He launched into a coughing fit and squeezed his eyes shut again.

Please.

Not.

Ponyboy.

The doctor looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure what to say. I managed to make eye contact with Sodapop, who looked ready to cry. An understanding passed between us. He asked Ponyboy if he was hungry and took him down to the cafeteria. I stayed behind.

"I really am sorry," the doctor said, watching me.

"Does he….does he still have a ch—chance?" I choked out. The doctor sighed.

"We can try. But… for a kid that young to get this kind of cancer, he doesn't have a good chance,"

"How…how long?"

"I'd give him a few months. At best."

My blood turned cold. He might not even get to celebrate his favorite holiday. Christmas. Ponyboy loved Christmas.

_**Now the thought of spending Christmas without him just feels wrong**_

I was in a daze the entire way down to the cafeteria. I hadn't bothered to say thanks to the doctor. To be honest, I wasn't thankful. I knew as well as anyone that it wasn't his fault. But, I wasn't thankful. I had asked him about any form of treatment and he told me when to bring Pony back for his. I had nodded and left. That was it.

I saw Ponyboy and Sodapop sitting at one of the tables. Soda kept trying to get our brother to smile, even though he wasn't smiling himself. Ponyboy didn't even try. Who could blame the kid? I wouldn't.

"Hey, kiddo. Are you alright?" I asked, sitting down next to him.

"No." he answered honestly, brooding over his milkshake. He hadn't eaten any of it. Soda hadn't eaten any of his either.

"Come on. Let's go home." I sighed.

I felt a pang of despair. Ponyboy already looked defeated. He was slumped over, and he just looked like he had already given up. The fight wasn't over yet. He still had a chance. We just needed a miracle.

_**They've been praying for a miracle**_

"Soda," Ponyboy said, later that night. His voice sounded a little hoarse from coughing so much. I grimaced, my face hidden from the newspaper that I wasn't even reading. "I don't feel too good. I'm gonna go to bed."

Oh, no. I thought, despair gripping my stomach. Ponyboy never said that he didn't feel bad. He must be feeling awful.

"Okay, kiddo." Soda replied, and I didn't need to see his face to tell that it worried him as much as me.

He nodded and went into the bedroom. I put the paper down, giving up on distracting myself. I put my head in my hands. I heard coughing from the bedroom. He kept coughing. He eventually stopped.

"Darry?" He called, his voice sounding like he gargled rocks. I got up and went into the bedroom.

"What do you need kid?" I asked gently.

"A tissue," he answered. His hand was covering his mouth.

I ran and got a box of tissues, handing them to Ponyboy. He was coughing up blood again. I rubbed his back as he wiped the blood off his hands.

"Thanks, Dar,"

I felt suppressed tears rise to the surface.

"No problem kiddo. Need anything else?" Anything? I added mentally. He thought for a minute. He shook his head no.

"Good night, Dar,"

I stood. "Good night, Ponyboy."

"Love you."

I stopped. He never said that to me before. "I love you too, Ponyboy."

I walked out the door.

_**Now they're praying he can just hold on**_

As I shut the door behind me, I made up my mind. Ponyboy's gonna get to celebrate Christmas one way or another. He loved Christmas, but not for the same reasons that all of the other kids did his age. He liked seeing other people's reactions to getting something. He was never greedy, and never openly asked for something for Christmas. He just liked watching other people get what they want. And normally, he always got everybody the perfect gift.

He's gonna get to see that. Even if it's the last time he ever will.

_**For one last Christmas, one last time. One last season when the world is right, one more telling of the story, one more verse of Silent Night. They'd give anything so he could have one last Christmas. **_

_**Middle of September, still seventy degrees. Daddy climbs up in the attic, brings down candles, hangs the lights on all the trees. **_

I honestly didn't care if I looked stupid. Ponyboy was going to get to see Christmas. One last time. I got out the tree and set it down in the living room. Ponyboy looked at me and grinned.

"Dar?"

"Yeah, kiddo?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"…thanks." he finally said. My heart shattered. He didn't ask questions. He knew what I was doing. He knew what time of year it was. He knew _why_ I was doing it. Sodapop walked in and understanding crossed his face. He walked over and helped me string the lights around the tree. Ponyboy stepped in to put the star on top.

By the end of the day, our house was ready for Christmas. I even had put lights outside. Ponyboy had gone to bed early again. This time, Sodapop had gone with him. I stared at the Christmas tree, remembering all of our pasts Christmases. I realized then that it was the little things that I was going to miss.

Ponyboy putting the star on the tree

The three of us fighting over who gets the biggest piece of pie

My having to yell at Ponyboy to go to bed on Christmas Eve

Hearing Ponyboy hum Christmas songs when he thought no one could hear him

My thoughts were interrupted when Two-Bit came in, questions written all over his face.

"Dar, why is your house lit up like Christmas Eve?"

_**Then the neighbors started asking**_

"Ponyboy's dying." I answered bluntly. Two-Bit froze. His face petrified in shock. "He has…lung ca—cancer."

"But why decorate for…oh," Two-Bit stopped himself, understanding. I sighed. "Where is the kid?"

"Asleep. Or trying to be. Two-Bit, I'm not gonna kick you out, but you won't get much sleep here. Ponyboy has hardly been sleepin' at all."

"I'll go. You've got your hands full."

"Aw, Two-Bit. I didn't mean it like that…" I began.

"No. Really, it's okay. I gotta do somethin' anyway."

"At eleven at night?" I asked, skeptical.

"Yeah." He said slowly. Still, he looked hesitant to leave. He walked out and I stared at the tree again. The sound of Ponyboy coughing echoing in the silent house.

The next morning I awoke to Steve and Two-Bit entering, as quietly as they could. I had fallen asleep on the couch.

_**And pretty soon word got around **_

They were grinning, which made me suspicious.

"what did you two do?"

"Come on, Darry. We wanna show you something." Steve said, beckoning with his head to the door. It was still dark. The clock told me that it was seven in the morning.

I sighed and stood up. I followed them to the door and stopped in my tracks. The entire neighborhood had their Christmas lights up.

_**First it was the neighborhood**_

"How….did you guys…manage this?" I said, awed.

"Two-Bit called me. Told me what happened. Told me what you had done. And asked for my help to get this started."

"Yeah. People really listen to a story like Pony's. Losing both parents, two good friends, and now this."

"Thank you. Really. This means….more than you can imagine."

"Dar?" Soda called from inside.

"Out here, Soda," I hollered. He came out and stopped.

"What….?"

"Steve and Two-Bit," I answered, still staring at the lights. The four of us stood in silence for a while.

"Soda, did you come out here for a reason?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"What? Oh, yeah. I was wondering if you could run to the store. We're out of chocolate." I nodded and grabbed my keys. I cringed. Ponyboy was coughing again. Soda had gone back into the room with him, after deciding that it would be better to let Ponyboy see the lights without getting told. I went back outside and started the truck. The store was deeper in Tulsa, so I headed into town. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. Pretty soon, I saw people hanging their lights up and waving at me. People that I didn't know. People that I'd never seen before.

_**Before too long they lit up that whole town**_

I pulled over and sobbed. I didn't want to. I tried to fight it. But heck, my kid brother was gonna die in a few months. And I wasn't about to break down where Ponyboy would see. He felt awful enough, and knowing my kid brother, he would start to feel guilty. That's the last thing that he needed right now. Fifteen was too young to die. Way too young. He was always a good kid. Always. And there was so much that we would never get to do. He would never get his license. He would never get his first girlfriend. He would never marry. Never have kids. Never get out of this run down town like I knew he would someday.

But he would get to see one last Christmas.

_**For one last Christmas, one last time. One last season when the world is right, one more telling of the story, one more verse of Silent Night. They'd give anything so he could have one last Christmas. **_

_**Twenty-seventh of October. His time was wearing thin.**_

Ponyboy hadn't been getting any better. Only worse. He had lost his hair, but he wore a hat. So he didn't look too bad. He had asked Sodapop to move back into his own bedroom so he would stop waking him up. Soda told him not a chance. I had started taking time off work. Ponyboy felt that it was the worst mistake I could ever make. I didn't care what he thought. I was gonna spend as much time as I could with him.

_**Friends and family, even strangers that they didn't know brought presents in**_

Our Christmas tree finally had presents under it. Some from me and Soda, others from Steve, still others from Two-Bit and his family. And still, some from Ponyboy. I didn't know when he went shopping, or when he found time to wrap it, but there were four presents from him. And none of us knew what he got us.

The doorbell rang. I ran to answer it. Two people stood there, with a present in hand. I didn't know them. I was almost certain they didn't know us.

"Can I help you?"

"Is this where Ponyboy Curtis lives?" the woman asked.

"Uh, yeah," I answered slowly.

"Would you mind giving this to him for Christmas?" the man asked me, handing me the gift. I looked at them, shocked.

"Sure. Thank you. Really," I told them sincerely. They smiled softly and nodded before running off into their car.

I looked down at the gift. The tag read:

To: Pony Boy Curtis

_Merry Christmas, we will keep you in our prayers_

They spelled his name wrong, but still. It was….kind beyond words. I smiled softly and put the present under the tree.

_**He was weak but he was smiling like there was nothing even wrong.**_

Ponyboy came out from the bedroom and yawned. He was pale, with dark circles around his eyes and he was leaning on the wall for support. His hat was on sideways. Soda thought it looked better on him like that. He coughed. I knew that he felt awful. Beyond awful. But he was still just as stubborn.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I'm okay."

_**They said he wouldn't make it**_

He was quickly deteriorating. And more and more strangers came and handed us presents for Ponyboy. I don't know how, but it seemed like me, Soda, Two-Bit, and Steve had all mutely decided when we were gonna celebrate Christmas. A few weeks passed, and I decided that it was time. There was no reason to wait.

Ponyboy insisted that we open our presents first. Laughing at the kid's stubbornness, I obeyed. I lifted the box open and nearly broke down sobbing at what was there. It was picture of the three of us. Soda, Ponyboy, and me. All of us were grinning our biggest grin. Ponyboy's arm was around my shoulder, mine wrapped around both of them. It was outside in our front yard. The frame read across the top:

_Darry, Ponyboy, and Sodapop_

and across the bottom:

_Brothers Stick Together_

"Ya like it, Dar?" Ponyboy asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, kiddo. I love it." Even that was an understatement. Soda actually did break down crying. Ponyboy laughed. His was a picture of him and Pony just as Soda was getting ready for a drag race. His frame said _Brothers Joined at the Hip_ which fit those two perfectly.

Ponyboy was grinning. That was always his favorite part of Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Dar," he said. I pulled him into a hug.

"Merry Christmas, little buddy," I answered.

"I'll miss you," he choked out. I stopped. Tears swelled and rolled down my cheeks. He's saying goodbye. I wasn't ready for it. I still needed him.

But I said it anyway for the fear of missing my chance.

_**Looks like he got to see it after all.**_

_**For one last Christmas one last time. One last season when the world is right, one more telling of the story, one more verse of Silent Night. They'd give anything so he could have one last Christmas. **_

_**One last Christmas. **_


End file.
